shot from the grassy knoll, with a rifle made using alien technology from Roswell, by a Jewish media elite gunman during 911....

Ah conspiracy theories.....

We all have our pet ones. We all have ones we think are "obvious" and we all have ones we think are a stinking load.
I'm no different.
I believe that the US government is hiding knowledge of extraterrestrial visitation.
I believe there was more to the JFK murder than one lone gunman acting on his own.

I do NOT believe there was a faked moon landing.
I do NOT believe there was anything other than al queda behind 9/11
I do NOT believe in a time tunnel in Maine that can be used to create psychic creatures.
I do NOT believe Hitler's clone is living in Argentina.

Then there are the things I know.

I KNOW there is no media conspiracy aimed at deluding the public, keeping people stupid, hiding "the truth" from you, controlling what you watch or what morals you develop or who you vote for.
What I believe and don't believe are irrelevant. The only thing we can ever speak to is what we know.
The simple truth is that if there is a media conspiracy to control the world or even just to turn honest news into advertising pieces at the cost of journalistic integrity I'd know about it.
I've worked at multiple news outlets across the country. I've written well over 4,000-5,000 stories at the very minimum. I've been a reporter and editor, freelance, bi-weekly, weekly, daily and quarterly.
I've covered everything from personal injury accidents in St. Clair County, Michigan farmland to Senate hearings on the energy bill.
There is no "the media". Period.
There is no cabal of media megacorps trying to own everything that hits the airwaves or print. Period.
News outlets, be they television, newspaper or internet, are a decentralized, non-organized mess of individuals who all are doing their own thing.
There are a few large companies, but they still don't account for most media outlets.
What's more, even with the recent sale of Knight-Ridder, notice how they sold off all their main papers to individual companies? Kind of hard to do if there's a supersecret plan to rule all papers and news stations.
Tomorrow, you could start a news website, hire five guys, get together some contacts, some phones and the like and you could start a news site.
And yes, it could become very popular and compete with major outlets.
I know this because the reporter who trained me at The Detroit News, John Bebow, did so with Michigan Live.
No shadowy guys in suits showed up at his doorstep and told him to toe the line. He wasn't bought out by crazed zionists bent on world domination, and he isn't sitting behind his desk scheming on how to screw the reader to bring in more advertisers.
Now, a large number of papers pay John to have their papers presented on the web.
I've covered highly sensitive stories. I've even covered stories that directly negatively affected my own paper's advertisers. Not once, not one single time, even when I ran a highly negative story on Wal-Mart, which shoveled out insane advertising dollars to the paper I was working at, did I ever have a story edited.
Not one time was I ever called into an editor's office and told "look, you have to slant this story this way" or "hey, we're going to change this story so that it looks more like A, B, or C" in any way that could be perceived as intentional slanting.
Were they all avoiding me? Am I the luckiest reporter on planet earth?
Or could it be that people just don't know how to read the paper or watch the news? Or that people, whenever they hear news they don't like, tend to think it can't be true, therefore the teller must be lying.
Why do you think it is that we have had, for centuries, phrases warning us against taking things out on the bearer of bad (or unwanted) news?
It's because people would rather believe that the bearer is wrong instead of the news being true.
People cannot handle the truth when the truth conflicts with what they want to hear.
Also, people cannot accept that they themselves might be the one who actually is perceiving things incorrectly.
True story, during a survey of how to better report the news at one paper I worked at, we did a test. We took a group of people who were self-proclaimed to have "right-leaning" political views and gave them a story and told them to find how it was slanted to the left. They came up with a nice long list. We did the same with a group of people who had "left-leaning" views. They too came up with a long list.
Problem was the two groups were given the same story. When they were put together in a room and shown the other side's lists even they, after some resistance, started to laugh and admit they saw how they themselves had slanted things.
I myself repeated this experiment on a message board and got the same result.
People read the news and watch the news through glasses colored with the tint of their own perspective.
However, people don't want to hear that they do that. They cannot accept it.
Case in point, there are people reading this who have, through the majority of it, never considered that any of the statements hearin might actually be true, but instead are more concerned with a retort to the premise.
They cannot accept that they might be perceiving things differently, or have certain biases. It is far easier for their minds to accept that there's a multinational conspiracy that has stretched for hundreds of years through a decentralized, unconnected industry made up of hundreds of thousands of people from every walk of life which ranges from the local city paper alternative rag, to major newspapers to cable news channels, owned by over 1,000 different unnconnected ownerships whose goal is to sacrifice the truth for the sake of advertising dollars or their own personal agenda which just happened to be signed off on by every reporter, desk editor, managing editor, copy desk editor and publisher (all the people who have to sign off on your average news story), very rarely whom are the same people for every story in an industry that actually BANS advertisers or Opinion Page editors from interacting with reporters.
Except, of course, unless they know you personally....then "oh, well not YOU, you're different."
I used to hear that before...except that phrase usually followed a lament about "those black people".
It's just as silly applying it to people in the news industry.

Another week under the grindstone

Another federal deadline is coming up on my job, which means this week will be like last week. I worked 6 days for a total of over 50 hours, and Rae worked even sunday morning.
I never was really good at working for others. Personally, I've always done my best when working for myself.
But the pay is good and the work itself isn't that difficult.
However, I do want to get back into freelancing and pimping my novel.
I'm also going to throw a bunch of ideas at Kevin Siembieda at the Palladium Books Open House.
I used to freelance for Cigar Magazine, but they haven't needed any freelancers for their last two issues as they were overstocked on stories. Also I think my contract with them was before they had a good idea of their costs and they were paying me more than they could really afford to.
Oh, well, I'll fire off an e-mail to my editor there and see what's going on.
I just really needed a break from journalism for a while. Washington, D.C. burned me out on it.
I'm glad I was there and got to be one of the few people who could say they were a capitol hill reporter. I got to do things like cover important senate hearings, meet people like Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Joseph Lieberman and others whose names are going to be in the history books. These guys wielded a lot of power, but they had to respect the power of the press as well, so they treated you more or less like equals. I got a kick out of the fact that the second or third time I talked with Hillary that she used my first name because she remembered it. I figure when the former first lady knows you by name you're doing alright for yourself.
But.....
Covering the government wears on you. It's just like the saying goes about watching how sausage is made. Once you've seen it, you really don't want to eat sausage again.
I think the thing that bothered me the most is how very little doing what was right seemed to actually affect how our country is run. Doing what's expedient, politically smart, and cost effective all override doing what's right on the Hill.
And the young guys who come in with idealistic thoughts and an actual goal to do the right thing quickly get beat down by the older senators and representatives.
It's a very depressing atmosphere once you get on the inside.
I like it out here better, even if that means a few dollars less and no longer being able to just walk into the U.S. Capitol Building after waving hello to security, passing by all the gawking tourists.
But, this journalism thing is in my blood and I can feel it seeping slowly to the surface from underneath. Eventually I'll have to do something about that...

Doctor's appointment

I have a doctor's appointment in the morning. It's for a general check-up, mostly.
You know what I hate about doctor's appointments? I hate the fact that you MIGHT find out something is wrong with you. I realize, rationally, that it was probably there before the appointment, but if I don't know about it and it's not bothering me at the time I can't worry about it. I know that's nuts, the sooner you find out something the better, but I feel the same way about taking my car into the shop. I hate doing it because they just might find something actually wrong with it.
I guess that's better than the wheel coming off in the middle of traffic or having a stroke at work, but the trepidation is still there.
Also, I've never been one of those people who had a steady doctor for years on end. Mainly because I move around so much. Every two years or so I'm somewhere else it seems. I get wanderlust. That makes it hard to have a regular doctor. My grandfather used to be my doctor, but he retired long ago. I don't think I've ever trusted any doctor like I've trusted him, but then again he IS my grandfather, that's a hard one for the average doctor to top.
So we've crossed a couple weeks of no red meat now and I'm holding up pretty good. I actually tried boca burgers (veggie burger-type substance) and they weren't half bad, actually.
I'm sick of chicken though. Trying to find more fish, but don't want to eat any more pork than necessary.
Next few posts are likely to be short and sometimes scattered. I've worked 12 hour days all week, and I've worked saturdays as well.
When I get home I keep saying that I'm going to do this or that...but I end up sleeping instead. This will last til the end of tax season (April 15). After that things should get better.

The Hero's Journey (Gamer style)

This is something I wrote some time back. It involves using Joseph Campbell's "Hero's Journey" model in creating a campaign. I know sseveral GMs read this site and thought you might enjoy it.

There is a specific model that can be used to make a riveting campaign outline. If you stick with it, maybe even play with it a little, you will go a long way toward creating a riveting campaign.
There is something called the "Hero's Journey" model, postulated by a man named Joseph Campbell. Every adventure you have ever seen that you likely considered to be good is based on this model that always resonates with the human spirit when done correctly.
This model was used in the creation of Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, La'Muerte de Artur (King Arthur's legend), the adventures of Hercules, Perseus, Drizz’t Do'Urdan, Siegfried and the ring of Nebulung, the Yamato Takeru legend, Dragonlance, Starship Troopers, etc. If any of the above caught your fancy, then you are already a fan of the Hero's Journey and know how well it can work when done right.
What most people don't realize is that it makes an excellent framework for a campaign in role-playing as well. Using this model in a campaign can be easy, fun and gives a real sense of adventure.
It is broken down into the following format

The Separation

The beginning of the story is focused on taking the hero(s) away from their normal world, usually through shock or trauma and setting them on the path of adventure. This has three key segments:

The Call: Something forces the heroes on the road toward adventure. It is traumatic and separates them from all they have known before and requires them to make a decision to face the unknown and perilous danger. In Star Wars, Luke gets the message from the Princess from R2. In Lord of the Rings, Frodo learns the truth of the ring. In Arthurian Legend, Arthur, a lowly squire pulls the sword from the stone and becomes King.
In a role-playing game this takes place usually in the first or second adventure or so. A great trial is hinted at and requires the heroes to do something about it and put themselves in danger. In a previous campaign I ran, it was the group finding 1/4 of the creation plans for the iron juggernauts, pulling them away from the relatively mundane duty of escorting Tolkeen refugees.

The Threshold: Something may hold the hero back, something he has to overcome and say "Okay, I am ready for this adventure, come what may." Often, this is internal and not an external force. In my campaign, the group had to make the determination that if they returned to their guard duty they would be walking into the hands of the enemy. Had they stayed ignorant of what they knew it would have meant nothing to them, but knowing what they had learned they had to choose a new path. In Star Wars, Luke's Uncle Owen is the barrier, who is removed by his death at the hands of the storm troopers. In Lord of the Rings, Frodo has to go against the naturally sedentary life of a Hobbit, and leave his home.

The Guardian/Mentor/Talisman: The Hero can't just wander out into the cold cruel world without an edge, oh no. He receives a guardian, a mentor or a talisman of power to aid him in his journey. In most cases the hero receives the mentor and the talisman. They never seem to be enough to actually solve the hero's big problems, but help empower him and/or see things as he may not have in the past, opening the door in his mind to conquer things with his wits. In Star Wars, Luke gets a mentor, Obi-Wan, and a talisman, his father's lightsaber. In Lord of the Rings, Frodo gets a mentor, Gandalf, a guardian, Sam, AND numerous talismans (Sting, the mythril coat, the vial of Galadriel, etc.) over time. In my own game, and in most campaigns, you should take the LotR approach. Sprinkle occasional mentors, guardians, talismans and what-not to help the players along and give them the confidence to face seemingly undefeatable evil, but it should never be enough to solve the problem on its own. They may win the favor of a great cyber knight, a crafty information broker, a Naruni sales rep. They may gain magic amulets, a cool specialized mech, a rune sword, a unique spell, etc.

Now, onto the part that makes up the core of your campaign:

Initiation and transformation

This, in essence, is the action. This is also where most game masters and stories are likely to falter. Why? Because the action has to MEAN SOMETHING. Not only to the plot, but to the characters.
This has five parts, but they are the most flexible part of the hero's journey model and can be mixed, matched and perverted. This is where you truly make a story your own by having fun with this section of the model. This is where the curveballs mostly come from.

The Challenge
Once you get past the threshold the heroes now face the unknown and a series of challenges. At first the challenges are very easy and are aimed at building the heroes skills and confidence. But as time progresses they get harder and harder and more complex. Along the way there are helpers and there are tempters. Sometimes it is hard to tell one from the other. Some helpers turn out to be tempters and some who appear to be tempters are actually helpers. Ultimately, the challenges seem to always be in the areas where the heroes are most insecure and at their weakest. By overcoming their biggest handicap do they progress to a new level. Luke's journey through the Death Star, the many challenges of Frodo and Arthur, these elements are the easiest to spot. This makes up the bulk of a campaign, and it should be obvious why this model works so well. The challenges start off easy, great for low level characters, and helps build them in skill and confidence (and for a player group, teamwork) so that when they start to get to the heart of the campaign and face the real nemesis they can prevail and reach their stride. In my own previous campaign, this was everything leading up to the big battle at Tryth-Sal. Traditionally, the easy period ends when they basically stare THE ENEMY in the eye and spit in it and throw down the gauntlet. My group did this by thwarting the main enemy's assault on the Lyn-Srrial, directly opposing him openly. Often, a sign that the easy part of the challenge is coming to its end is the death of the mentor. My group lost a cyber knight, Sir Charles, a few adventures before the big battle, meaning they had to be more self-reliant. One good thing about a campaign is that you can take your time with these things.

Into the Abyss
This is where we grab the edge of our seats in the theater, start turning pages faster while reading the book, or start wondering if we should not have bought just one more clip of Naruni ammunition in a campaign. This is the dark chapter of the hero's journey. They are faced with a seemingly hopeless task against staggering odds. This is where they truly earn the mantle: Hero. It must test all their skills, reach right into their weakest aspect and they must do it without support. This is where Luke faces Vader in Cloud City, Frodo leaves the fellowship to go on his own into Mordor, etc. This can be a single event, or (for campaigns) a span of events where things seem darker and darker. The challenges get harder and there's little sign of hope. But if the hero digs deep within him or herself, find their heart and knows who their friends are who their enemies are and have confidence in their abilities and have learned well, they can succeed.
In a campaign, I suggest a series of abysses, each moving the plot forward remarkably. Each teaching the hero about himself or themselves and what they can truly do when pushed to the wire. In my campaign, I try to have abysses for each player, sometimes more than one if they have trouble overcoming earlier ones.

The transformation and revelation.

You've all seen it and you all know it. "I am your father!" in Empire, Samwise's speech about "the old stories, the ones that really matter...", Arthur's knights find the holy grail.... An event that transforms the characters, reconstitutes them. They are now focused; they are now in the heart of their hero-dom. They take the fight, from here on, to the villain. They start to gain momentum. All the lessons are learned (but the enemy always has a couple surprises) and they must use what they have learned to defeat their foe. This often comes with a shocking revelation, a great betrayal, and some big surprise. This is the "dun Dun DUNNNN!" part of the story. From here on we head toward the rousing climax....

The atonement
This is what they've been waiting for...mano-a-mano with the head honcho...and a resolution to the darkness. If all goes well, the light shines through, shattering darkness, driving away villainy. Others look up and acknowledge that the hero is a hero. The hero is now comfortable with the mantle and in fact uses it to his advantage. They are at one with themselves and this is why they defeat the villain. It isn't the magic sword or the super-mega-gun or the spell, it's heart, will and confidence and courage. We see this all through return of the jedi with Luke. He is comfortable with being a jedi when he saves his friends from Jabba. He then faces Vader and the emperor and has faith in his father despite all the evil Vader has done. it pays off. This is probably the hardest thing to represent in a campaign. It takes a lot of engineering and a lot of fixing and knowing your player characters. But it often comes naturally. A level 10 mind melter or lord magus can be pretty darn confident! NPCs at this point should know who the heroes are, even if the hero doesn't know them. Favors start coming in, the momentum starts building. When the player characters call for the final showdown, a thousand voices rise behind them from all the people they've saved and impressed. The heroes have done so much for them that they have their back now. The Enemy realizes "these guys are coming for my neck!" and the final showdown is set and occurs in glorious fireworks and gripping action. With skill, luck and lots of harebrained plans and confidence, the enemy is defeated....
but that's not the end of the journey.....

The Return

Wrapping up your campaign.
This is the final stage of the journey. The hero returns to their roots either physically or metaphorically, bringing with them the "gift," what they learned and/or obtained on their journey. In mythology this is often represented by a magic object that in some way connects with knowledge and power, a metaphor for wisdom and the ability to use it.
This can have its own trials as well. Often, this is blended with a final task to overcome. The hero finds that the evil he left home to fight has taken root in his own cradle. And most often this evil is not physically powerful, but cunning and sly, forcing loved ones long left behind to turn against the hero, bringing home hard that he is now an outsider. In Lord of the Rings the hobbits return to the shire to find Grimer Wormtongue and Sauruman have taken up residence there, for example. After Hercules returns home from fighting the hydra and the lion his wife poisons him, etc. The point is that the hero has come home changed beyond what he was when he left, and that takes some adjustment.
Several outcomes can happen at this point. 1. The hero is accepted and his knowledge and gifts are used to raise the entire community. 2. He is rejected as an outsider and finds that the road he left behind is now his new home, or among the new friends and alliances he made. 3. The hero cannot adjust at all, is rejected by all because his knowledge is too much for others to hear and accept and he isolates himself from the world. Often this last leads to the hero becoming a mentor in the adventures of the next hero.
In your campaign use this as the ending to bring home how much the world has changed for the heroes since they started. Often they do not have one home, so take them back to familiar places and people which once seemed so intimidating and strange that look small now and normal. Maybe the dangerous, brutal 'Burbs they started out in seem small and petty now compared to the wide world. That CS lieutenant and his dogpack that always harassed them seem insignificant. Maybe they can return to the farm town that gave them a place to stay who lost most of its men folk to that demon and drop off a couple confiscated power armors for the town's defense. One good tactic I have found in adventures is making player characters treat the dead realistically. If one of the characters in the game died (and if there was a body left) there's a good chance there was a grave. If he died defending said village he could be a hero, with children that would be dead if not for the group playing in the street, imitating the fallen comrade.
Or maybe there is no end of this road for the group. They may break up for a while or relax and enjoy wealth and fame and heroism for a little while, but soon something else "calls" them from their comfortable existence on the road to new adventures, new journeys and new lessons learned.

Knot experienced at this

So, during our adventures at the last fetish flea market my slave rae convinced me to buy 50 feet of soft, white nylon rope. She also, last Christmas, bought me a book on intricate rope bondage. Sometimes my rae likes to apply little hints....with a sledgehammer.
Okay, so I'm going to try and tackle intricate rope bondage. It's something I've always loved to look at, a girl intricately bound, and it's something I really should know as a Gorean Master, since you should be able to restrain your slave, even if struggling, with rope or leather ties in something under 15 seconds. However, there are two barriers I have to overcome.
First, intricate rope bondage can take a while to do, sometimes up to half an hour (during which, invariably, right near the end your slave will say she has to go pee), then you look at them for a few minutes, tease and play, and then let them out again. Unless you tie them in a way that they are available for use, I never saw much point besides temporarily turning them into living works of erotic art. Some things are kind of cool. I've seen girls in rope dresses and corsets. I saw two girls tied together hanging from a framework where they had to work together to get free, but if they were selfish they got more tangled. They could only pull rope ends to free themselves with their mouths, and of course the Dom had put all the important free rope ends they needed to pull in very creative places on the other girl. But, in general, never saw much point to it. Leather and steel restraints contrast nicely with the vulnerability of a slave girl, and they use buckles I can fasten in just a few seconds.
The Second thing is this: I am HORRIBLE with my hands. I think God has gifted me with many talents, of which I am extremely grateful. Overall I did pretty well in the genetic crap shoot of life. However, this is balanced out by what could nearly be considered a curse when it comes to making things, repairing things, etc. I remember when I was a kid I tried to make a model of the SDF-1. It was a beginners level model, fairly easy, or so the box said. It was an unmitigated disaster. A mess. Things were uneven, other things broke, some things just fell apart. I also did a lot of shopwork in high school. Were it not for shop class no less than half of my semesters in high school would have been 4.0.
I never got higher than a B in shop. Most of the time I got a C, and that's because there was a fair amount of book work and book tests. Fefnagale can attest to this: When you hand me a tool and something to put together, something's going to either break or explode.
And it's not just a lack of skill, it seems to be luck too. I've done demonstrations where I had me and someone else order something mechanical. If they opened it, it was fine. If I opened it, it was broken and had to be sent back to the factory. I went through three, count them, three motherboards trying to build my last computer. Two I got offline, one at a computer show. All of them didn't work when hooked up. Sending each one back, all three were confirmed defectively manufactured and my money was returned. Even the sales people were amazed.
Now, I've warned rae about this, and yet and still she trusts me so much she's willing to put her life, and delicate little limbs in my hands as I try to learn rope work. That's love and devotion for you....
Hopefully that will be enough to break the curse.

The girl in the picture is bondage model Dita Von Teese, a sub who has hit it big on the modeling scene. As far as actresses and models go she tops my list of favorites. She's mastered the "pleading eyes" look and a lot of people say no one has been along like her since Bettie Page, whom she often impersonates.

What is Gor and being Gorean?

Okay, I'm going to tackle a huge mouthful today: What is Gor, and what does it mean (to me) to be Gorean.

First, let's start with the basics.
Gor is, literally, a fictional world highlighted in a series of books known as the "Chronicles of Gor" or the "Chronicles of Counter-Earth." The novels are very much like Edgar Rice Burroughs' John Carter of Mars series, in which, in most of the books, a human is transported to an alien world and "goes native" over time.
The main character in most of the books is a man by the name of Tarl Cabot, who discovers his family ancestry originates on Gor.
The novels highlight a world based on a Nietzsche-esque natural order, meaning the most talented to do something is the best one to do it. It also emphasizes taking hold of the vitality of life and all its experiences. It deals with such things as honor, respect for home, true friendship, and the true nature of humanity. One of the probably most known, and harped over, aspects is that of gender. In the Gor novels, the people of Gor have accepted that men are naturally dominant and women are naturally submissive. It also postulates that when we don't resist our inner nature we live healthier, happier lives. Therefore, in general, most women on Gor are happier, more vital, and more content being submissive to men. However, what most casual readers do not get is that the books also clearly state that individuals have different needs, desires, wants, and strengths, and nobody can be placed into one mold. In at least two instances in the Gor books a woman is ruler of a city and widely respected, loved, and in many cases, obeyed, by the men under her rule.
The books are filled with swordfighting, rescuing princesses, wars between nations, treachery, and aerial combat by buff, spear-chucking guys on giant birds, but, intermixed with the pulp action, is a pretty detailed, intricately woven philosophy on life and how it can be (perhaps should be) lived.
One thing you must know about the Gor books to understand a bit about them is who wrote them.
The author on the covers is John Norman, however, that is a pen name for Dr. John Frederick Lange, Jr., who teaches at Queens College in New York. Lange is a Doctor of Philosophy, a degree he earned at Princeton University. So the man's no slouch in the nature of humanity.
The books were written from the 60s to early 80s, and have been driven off shelves by an organized letter campaign to publishers from feminists. Guess Free Speech isn't a part of their philosophy. Note: Whenever someone wants to control what you read and what ideas you are exposed to, worry. But I digress.
The books touch deeply on numerous philosophies besides the genders.
First and foremost is this: Be what you are. Be what you are with pride, with gusto, and without shame. Life is to be lived to the fullest. You can only do that by knowing yourself and being true to yourself.
The books also are EXTREMELY pro-environmental. A Gorean warrior is proud to be able to identify every flower and tree in a garden. A gorean woodcutter plants two trees for every one he chops down. Nature is allowed to run free outside the cities, even if it means travel is a bit more dangerous. It's a better alternative than a tame world, devoid of nature.
Also, despite the war and sword-swinging and wench-capturing, intellect is highly, highly prized. In fact the most rabidly adored sport on all of Gor is The Game, which is very similar to chess. Players of The Game are like superstars, despite the fact many of them couldn't even lift a sword. A battle-hardened, seasoned warrior could be brought to near tears by a masterful manuevering of Ubara to Ubar's Scribe Three.
Another aspect strongly espoused in the Gor novels is respect for your home. This means your nation/city and your individual quarters. This is often represented in the books by an object known as a Home Stone. A, sometimes simple, at other times complex, stone that represents the heart of a city (which on Gor are like nation-states). Men are extremely proud of their city, certain their particular homeland is the best, most beautiful on Gor, and will fight to the last defending it. Raze their city to the ground, and if the Home Stone can be preserved intact, they will simply start rebuilding the next day.
Finally, there is the gender aspect. In the books a lot is talked about regarding what I call the "pussification" of Earth men. Lange postulates, through these books, that earth men have been emotionally castrated and don't know it. What's more, women, in a strive for equality, have somehow decided that being equal means being like men, thus going against their very inherent nature.
So you get a world where men are not allowed to be men and women are trying to be men, thus nobody is being themselves and nobody is truly happy.
I feel this has merit. Look around you. Turn on the television for half an hour. Watch a few commercials with couples. Find a commercial where the husband isn't the bumbling buffoon to the wife's clever witticism. Sex and the City highlighted women being women and running wild in their femininity. Can you imagine a show where men were shown being men, saying what they truly say and think amongst their buds and how they approach relationships and what they want? An uncensored show on HBO that was the opposite of sex in the city? They'd burn HBO studios down for airing something like that.
Why?
We've been raised to be ashamed to be men by society in general. One of the things that Rae says attracted her to me is that I was both extremely and unabashedly masculine, and yet at the same time intellectual. I asked her why one would assume the two concepts to be mutually exclusive, to which I do not recall her having an answer.
But think about it.
You can be geek or jock. But society doesn't want to allow you to be both. Somehow, masculinity has been linked to stupidity and buffoonism, and the heavy-handed "hint" from television, movies, schools and the like is that to be a real man you must not at all be man-ly.
Why should you not admire a woman's body? Doesn't nature dictate that it's designed for the opposite sex to admire? And what about all those comments women are allowed to publicly make regarding a man's body? Why is that okay in the office, but not a comment about a woman's legs?
Why is your love of a good fight in a hockey game frowned upon? Your enjoyment of football made into a joke? The attention to your car is poo-pooed as "boys and their toys?"
And for women, why is a woman ridiculed for actually WANTING to be a housewife, or submissive to her husband? Why is a woman told that not being interested in a career, but wanting children instead, is "wrong"? Wasn't equality about choice? if so, why are choices that go against a woman emulating a man frowned upon?
Also, why are the concepts of dominance and submissive considered inequal? Who told you that because someone is submissive they are "less" of a person than someone who is dominant?
Would you dare tell a marine that has no desire to be an officer that he's a weak, inferior submissive? I dare ya to try it...
Lange's philosophy in the Gor books specifically point out on several occasions that women are the equal of men, but they are different. We've only been at this "gender doesn't matter" idea for a couple decades. That's compared to 1 million years of evolution, learned behavior, and bred tendencies.
Let's run the clock back a few hundred thousand years to when we were still using stone tools.
Do you think that every man got to breed with any woman he wished? Or vice versa?
Of course not.
Now, who got first pick? The strongest man, obviously...be that through physical strength, or natural intelligence and an ability to lead or a combination thereof, it is undeniably true that the strongest and brightest got their pick of mates before the founding of civilization as we know it. Now, you're this impressive male and you've got your pick of the pack. Who are you going to go for? The most attractive woman that's likely to keep the cave clean, put out, and cause the least amount of problems. She'll probably strong internally, lots of intestinal fortitude so when the crapola hits the fan, you know she'll stand tall.
In all likelyhood, in most cases, the strongest and brightest men bred with the submissive, intelligent, strong women. Over, and over and over again. For a million or so years. Heck, some would argue that it was like that until about 1960.
Even in the 50s if you picked up a woman's magazine it was chocked full of articles on how to keep a good home for your man.
Now, this isn't to debate the rightness or wrongness of that. What I'm pointing out is that 50 years of women's lib doesn't have a chance in hell of erasing a pavlovian, bred, response that's been rampant and encouraged since some man-ape in africa first chucked a bone into the air.
That's not to say every woman would be happier being submissive to her man, nor would every man be happiest dominating his woman, mind, body and soul. Humanity varies. So if you're first mental response to this is "my girl doesn't fit that mold!" or "I'm no man's slave!" you need to stop, go back up to the top, and read again.
There is a tendency in the human male to desire to be dominant to his woman. There is a tendency in the human female to be submissive to a dominant man. If a man and a woman were raised, isolated from cultural input, on a desert island, in all likelyhood the male would be dominant and the woman submissive to him. That's what the theory postulates. However, that doesn't take into account television, movies, social upbringing, schoolmates, your parents and their beliefs, your religion and a whole host of other factors that make us what we are.
BUT, if you are capable of stripping all that away, and looking at yourself at your core (which very few of us can do), then, as a man, you'd likely find within yourself a strong desire to truly be dominant in your relationship, and if you are a woman, the reverse is likely to be true.
I think, for women, it's harder, because we've been taught that being submissive is bad. It has negative connotations like "doormat."
People who espouse the Gorean lifestyle have, ideally, accepted this natural part of themselves and embraced it. Gorean men, again, ideally, try to live a life of honor, and one made rich with experience and an enjoyment of life. In their relationships with women they take a strongly dominant role. Sometimes this is a Master/slave relationship...but not always. At other times it's the role of Free Companion, in which the woman takes a much less submissive role than a true slave, but still defers to the man as head of household.
One might ask, what do Gorean men look for in women?
First and foremost, intelligence. A Gorean man enjoys little more than he does talking with an intelligent woman. A Gorean man loves when an intelligent woman catches him up on something. He finds her that much more appealing. A Gorean man lets his woman's thoughts be expressed fully, encourages her imagination and learning. He obviously enjoys a beautiful woman, but defining beauty amongst Goreans is little different than among any other men. However, Gorean men do have a tendency to like their women a little more curvy than current societal emphasis. Given a choice between an underfed Kate Moss and an Anna Nicole Smith who could stand to lose a few (just going on body type in this example) most gorean men would go with the girl with more curves than less. Most men who actually have had a woman in his arms tend to agree with us, I believe.
So, we're not looking for ditzes. In fact, we usually can't stand them.
Slave or Free Companion, the girls that tend to be highly sought after, and who seem to flourish and do well in a Gorean lifestyle is one that is INTELLIGENT.
Now, if you explore around you'll find that there is an online gorean community.
Unfortunately, we don't have any control over who calls themselves Gorean.
You'll more than likely run into an idiot who calls himself Master this or Master that, claims to be a Warrior Caste, believes all women should be enslaved tomorrow and then will send you scurrying to fetch him a goblet of "ka-la-na" at room temperature. This obviously thrilling experience will end with him offering you his online collar, which will consist of you putting his intials in brackets behind your name and waiting around alot faithfully online while he's signed on under a different name cybering some other slave whose most likely a man in cyber disguise.
Can ya tell I've had my fill of online Gor?
First and foremost, Gorean philosophy dictates life is to be lived. Therefore, if you find someone who spends 20 hours a day in an online Gor chatroom with his online slave drinking online drinks, think carefully before you consider that man Gorean.
When I was writing my novel, I got roped into it for a while, simply because I was at home all the time writing, and the same for when I was freelancing and only needed to work a couple weeks every three months. What I discovered was this: There are quite a few intelligent, truly submissive women out there who are itching to be in the hands, and possibly collar, of a true Gorean man, but they are few and far between.
I once had a girl who was originally trained by one of the authors of the book Different Loving visit me to see if a possible Master/slave relationship might work. For several reasons, it didn't work out. But she told me that her mentor said there may be a dozen true Masters in the country and she thought I was one of them. I was the only one she'd met in her search after over a decade. Now, I can't tell you if she was right about her assessment of me, and I don't want the above to stand as some testament to my abilities as a Master or a Gorean. I only say it to point out that men who've found, and are comfortable, with that place in themselves are rare. They are likely more rare than the women that seek them.
Women, being in general more attuned to their emotions, often are able to come to terms and fall into that submissive side of themselves, despite the fact that at the beginning it is a harder concept for them to consider. Men tend to resist it. They don't want to be seen a chauvanistic, misogynistic (which is as far away from Gorean as you can get...if you hate or dislike women, Gor isn't for you), or simply as being thoroughly, and unabashedly, male.
And, in a way, that's okay.
It's one reason that, through the years, I've had my pick of the litter....

For me, this encapsulates much of my thoughts and feelings on Gor. Ask someone else and they'll tell you a slightly different variation. That should come as no surprise. There are 6 billion human beings on this planet, and I strongly believe that, albeit sometimes the nuances are lost, that there are 6 billion distinctly different views on every subject under the Sun.

The above views are mine.
Your mileage may vary.

A typical night out

Ugh, can't believe I'm awake writing this thing. We didn't get to bed until after 3 a.m. last night...and didn't get to sleep until some time later, heh.
It was a long, good day.
Unfortunately, it started out with us having to work from 7 a.m. until 11 a.m. But it was easy and it was extra money and overtime.
After we got home and took care of things around the house (and rae snuck in a quick nap) we headed down to the leather fetish flea market.
It's all the way down in D.C., takes about an hour to get there from Baltimore. We had decided to shop, come back home, get dressed up and then go to the party later that evening.
We didn't really dress up to shop too much. Rae went for the frisky look, with a little white, gauzy asian-styled shirt and black flared mini-skirt and pothole fishnet stockings. You know the ones? Not normal fishnets but the ones that are like made of thin yarn and have the huge holes? Good lord I love a woman's legs in those things.
Once we navigated the terrors of D.C. traffic we lucked up on a good parking space outside of the Crucible, the local dungeon. It's a nice, big place, well-kept. They keep expanding on it, which is very welcome. This time the newest addition was a huge upstairs level. There were about 300 people or so there I think when we got there. And people were regularly going in and out. We got there about 3 p.m.
Now, over the last couple weeks, rae has been working with chainmail. She made herself chainmail bracelets, a chainmail collar hung with bits of hematite and a chainmail lead (another word for leash...one end attaches to her collar and the other end stays in my hand). She got a lot of comments on them, with people asking her where she got the beautiful leash. She's thinking now about making some to sell.
So, we get in and pay for both the flea market and the play party that night.
Rae makes a beeline for The Shoe Guy (that's actually what he calls himself).
He has a multitude of women's shoes, each one with a girl's name. She was after some thigh-high boots, which, as you can see from the picture, she got. They're really gorgeous on her legs....since she has killer legs. And she says they're pretty comfortable, even with the heel. Although the leather is still stiff around the knee and will be until she's worn them in a bit.
After that it was like we lost our minds. I got a new 4', 16-plait single-tail by a well-known maker. Feels good in my hands. But rae hasn't experienced a single-tail yet and it's rather intense, so I didn't use it on her that night.
We also got personally embroidered shirts. She got a pink tank top with "Master ______'s toy" in bold black letters (______ being my first name, of course). And I got a black one with just "Master _____" and a silhouette of a chained slave over the left breast.
I also caved in to some serious begging and got her another pair of shoes, these look exactly like the ruby slippers from the Wizard of Oz, except that they're black and have a bit more heel.
I also got some soft, treated, white rope, as she recently bought me a book on rope bondage and is eager for me to start practicing on her. I've always admired the japanese rope bondage (a.k.a. nawa shabiri) experts, but I don't have the patience to take 20 minutes to tie a girl up prettily, get turned on, and then take another 20 minutes to set her free so I can do something about it.
But, a friend there told me a local rope bondage expert was giving seminars soon on how to tie a girl up in intricate rope bondage in a way where you can have access to any part of her you want. I like that idea.
We'll see if I take to it or not, I never was good with knots.
Finally, we got this little asian-styled dress for her, blue with black trim. It's a mini-sasong...the chinese girl's dress that Kristen Dunst wears at the parade in Spiderman is a good example. Except this one only falls to mid-thigh...nice for showing off those new boots.
That's all I can REMEMBER us buying. We left with so many bags that other people were commenting on them.
I got to introduce her to several friends, and as this had been the first time I seriously was out to hobnob since my split with my last slave I rather enjoyed it.
One thing about the flea markets that's probably unusual to vanilla lifestyle people (that's what we call non-alternative lifestyle folks...normals) is that when a woman at a leather fetish flea market wants to try on that little silver mini-corset and matching miniature shorts, she usually strips down right there in the middle of the crowd and tries it on. I'm sure the dealers do this on purpose. A friend of mine, sherry, who is quite a looker and has one of those barbie doll bodies, tried on the exact outfit above in the middle of the aisle. This thing is gripping her ass like a sailor who just got into port and has her tits presented like a buffet and she has the nerve to ask her master, Steve, if he likes the outfit. Before he could answer I grabbed Steve's wrist, felt for a pulse and told her "Yes." Because if the man didn't, I'd have declared him officially dead.
So, 6 p.m. rolled around and the flea market closed up. It was back to Baltimore where rae got dressed in the outfit in the picture. She also had on, which you can't really see here, a silver belt covered with clamshell bells, so that when she walked they chimed like a belly dancer. She looked quite exotic.
We grabbed some dinner, packed the playbag and drove back down. We got back to the Crucible by about 10 p.m. just as things were getting into full swing.
Now, many of you have no idea how things play out at a bdsm play party, so I'll run it down for you.
The Crucible, is set up into several large areas. The main floor has most of the bdsm furinture on it that people use. Spanking benches (kind of like a padded saw horse that the girl straddles, leaving her rear very exposed...usually the slave is cuffed to it), St. Andrew's Crosses (They look like a big "X", with rings for cuffs and other goodies at various places), suspension rigs and massage tables and cages.
We walk in and put our coats up and there's a place for your play bag to go until you want to play and find an open piece of furniture (which is rather difficult given the crowd). First thing we see when we come in is that some Mistress has put her male slave in a schoolgirl outfit in a cage that only allows you to stand, hands cuffed with a ballgag. Different strokes and all that...
Off to the side there's a girl who probably weighs about 100 lbs. in a mini-skirt and 6'inch heels on her knees crawling after her Master. I didn't mention a top because there wasn't one.
All the equipment is in use so we wander around so rae can see various things. One thing that catches her eye is a vacuum bag. Basically it's two layers of latex on a square frame attached to a vacuum pump. The sub or slave gets into it and then all the air is sucked out. It's allegedly the ultimate in full-body bondage, as basically every inch of your body is bound by the latex. Personally, I think it makes you look like you've been frozen in carbonite.
There are various girls and guys being whipped, flogged, tickled (tickle torture is devious...imagine being bound and unable to get away from someone who knows all your tickle spots), bound, etc.
The owner of the Crucible has had a novel idea and has caged off an area for single-tail use. That's good, because novices who are curious sometimes wander too close to a Master whipping his slave. A couple years ago I had a guy walk right in front of me as I was using mine. Everyone says I should have just let him have it one good time.
We chat with people here and there. The girl who plays Arcana in my HU2 game is there and quite a few people I haven't seen in a while. The organizer of the local multicultural munch (a get together for interracial BDSM couples in the area...there are that many) and one of the organizers for BlackBeat, an african-american themed bdsm annual event, are there and I find out that they are going to have some joint munches in the near future, so I'm thinking of taking rae to a few so she can get to meet more people in the lifestyle.
There's also a big deal coming up called Camp Crucible, which is an extended memorial day weekend camp, off in the hills, for BDSM'ers. No real rules, no laws to worry about, just 1,000 S&M fetishists at a well-equipped camp in the woods going nucking futs. The stories from Camp Crucible are often legendary.
But it's rather expensive, and coming up right behind a planned trip to Michigan, it might have to wait until next year for us.
We eventually luck up and find a spanking bench coming up free. I loop rae's leash around the arm of it while I go get the play bag. For her it seems like a long, intense session with the floggers, some hand spanking, a pinwheel and some edge play with a matching pair of chinese knives. I'm always telling her that I'm working her up and that I'm going light, which she can hardly believe.
However, after I let her up after about 45 minutes and she's talking about the intensity of the session, my friend James comes up and goes "whoa, you done already?" and I tell him that rae's new and he comments that he expected me to be there for another half hour...and rae's eyes bug out a bit as she feels like she was taken quite toward her endurance limit.
I wrap her up in a flannel aftercare blanket (subs and slaves tend to get very cold after a session, they also mentally are a bit "somewhere else" for a few, so most conscientious Masters and Mistresses wrap them up in an aftercare blanket and cuddle them for a while til they come back down to earth). I do so with rae in the upstairs area, which has been converted to a large aftercare zone with warm, low lighting, comfortable couches and chairs and tables. We find a big, overstuffed chair and she curls up in my lap for a while.
Afterwards, when she's feeling more herself again, we run into a Master, Mistress and slave that I haven't seen in a long time. The slave, whom everyone just calls "pet", had a bad Master who was a deadbeat and she had to get rid of him. He cost her her house. Then he stalked her for a while. But the BDSM community is pretty tight, so there was a good safety net for her and she's about back on her feet.
She's owned by the couple now and has had a collar made so that when it was finished she was wearing it...meaning that it will never come off unless you break out the metal cutters.
Her Master, Mistress, and I used to triple team her with an electrical device called a violet wand. Basically it's a hand-held miniature generator with a variety of glass vacuum tubes in various shapes. They are filled with gas that lights up violet when current is running through it and when you bring it close to the skin it gives an electrical zap...like the sensation you get when you walk across the carpet and touch the doorknob. Only difference is that the intensity varies and the zap is a steady constant rain of zaps, as opposed to one quick jolt.
Also, you can ground yourself or the slave and become electrified yourself. This means anyone you touch will get a steady zap. It also means any metal objects you pick up can be used to zap someone. We decide to toss rae and pet onto the couch together naked, they break out the violet wand set, and pretty soon we've got both girls squirming all over each other. Rae's never felt a violet wand before, as my last slave made off with my last set. It takes all of the first two minutes before she wants me to invest in another one...soon!
At one point the other Master is using a small rounded metal medical instrument, running the tip across pet's back, I've got a small dagger giving shocks across rae's legs and the Mistress has an ingenious glove similar to Freddy Kruger's (but far more elegant and less scary) that she's dragging across both girl's breasts. The noises those two girls made would have made most porn stars proud.
Then the two slaves discover that sucking on each other's nipples takes up an all new dimension when you're electrically charged, and the three of us sit back and watch the show for a bit.
All three of us then attack rae and it's not long before she goes off like a bottle rocket...then the three of us focus on pet and in five minutes she's off the couch and on the floor recuperating.
Finally, they show rae and I something new....fire play. Basically you take flash cotton, which magicians use to make flames suddenly leap from their hands, and you twist it into small fuses. Then you lay an intricate pattern on the girl's body. The thing about flash cotton is that it burns very intense, but it all goes up the instant you touch it to flame. So we decorate pet's body with a big flash cotton design, surrounding both nipples, running down her belly with swirls and loops. Then FWOOSH! the whole thing burns off in less than a second...too fast to burn the skin, but giving the sub the quick sensation of actually being on fire.
I wouldnt' think that's a plus in it's favor, but pet certainly likes it...and I know rae loves to have hot wax dripped on her....so I get the location of the magic shop they buy it from for future use.
It's getting close to closing at this point and we notice a pretty little slave asleep by herself in a chair in the corner. I go over and quietly nudge her and ask her where her owner is and if she's aware it's almost time to go.
She sleepily tells me that her Mistress is a "switch" and that she's tied up (literally)at the moment.
I nod and she thanks me for waking her and for caring.
Now, this has run long, but I'm going to take a moment to rant about "switches". I don't have anything against them, but if you are going to have a slave in your care then you really need to be consistently dominant. There's no way in hell I'd leave rae alone, asleep in a chair on another floor while I went to get "tied up" by somebody else. First of all, slaves need consistency from their owners. You are their rock of Gibralter, emotionally. They are really putting themselves out there by submitting to someone. A steady hand is needed to own. If you are giving up control of yourself to someone, how can you truly have control over them?
Second, what if something happens while the Mistress is tied up? Intricate suspension bondage can be risky. And it takes a long time to get into and out of.
And here's her slave, sleep, alone, on the other side of a dungeon the size of a large warehouse. I mentioned the fact that there should be a rule that if you abandon your slave for an hour at an event like this the first person who finds her should get to keep her. Rae didn't look thrilled at the idea....heh.
She got dressed again, we exchanged e-mails with pet and her owners and finally got ready to go.
It was a long ride home, as I was wore out. But rae was a good girl and stayed awake and we talked about the event and kept me company. We thought about hitting Denny's but with rae looking like Inara on a leash and it being 3 a.m. we decided against it.
So, I'd say that's fairly typical of a saturday night at a BDSM event. rae's interested now in becoming members at the Crucible and attending regularly, so needless to say she enjoyed herself. I know I did.

Whips and boots

Tonight, rae and I are getting ready for a BDSM event on Saturday night. It's actually a dual-sort of event, a flea market in the day time, where you can buy all sorts of kinky accessories and essentials, and a "play party" later in the evening.
This will be rae's first real public debut to the local bdsm scene. As a Gorean, I am not huge on public play parties and the like, but it's nice to get out once in a while to talk with others without having to edit your language and behavior.
Some BDSM'ers find Goreans a bit too "edgy" for them. For a lot of BDSM'ers, the philosophical aspect, the emotional depth of Gor, runs too deep. There's never a time, for example, that rae is not my slave, except when we are at work. Even then it's just in stealth mode. Also, it's very gender-oriented. Gorean philosophy dictates that women are naturally submissive and men naturally dominant. Since the BDSM culture has a lot of dommes (most of you would probably know them as dominatrixes), they tend to not be too comfortable with that line of thought. But the alternative lifestyle scene requires you have a lot of mental flexibility. It took me a long time to get used to seeing men bowing and scraping at the feet of women half their size. That just ain't me. But it's them, and as long as they are being true to themselves and happy, no complaints. There's very much a "I'll respect your lifestyle if you respect mine" attitude in the local BDSM scene, which I'm glad of.
But there are some jarring differences between Goreans and BDSM lifestylers. I won't get into the core, major differences, but they are rather broad. But I'll deal with the ones that particularly make attending events interesting. Goreans don't, in general, use limits, safe words and the like. But that's because, for one thing, she's mine and I'll use her as I wish, and for another, once you know each other in and out, you don't need them. She knows me well enough to know that I'm not going to ask her to do anything that puts her in jeopardy. If anything, I probably tend toward coddling her. Also, there's little need of a "safe word" since neither of us will "play" with anyone else. We know each other's dance quite well, and she's never found it difficult to tell me when something's wrong. I usually know before she's ready to say it, just by reading her body language.
Gorean slaves, in general, do not act "bratty"...or do things to incite their Masters to punish them...something some, but certainly not all, BDSM girls often partake in.
In fact, I'm different from many Goreans simply for the fact that I, and rae, enjoy erotic pain play. Many Goreans will only pull out the whip if the slave has made a grave error. But none of us fit perfectly into any label...I am no different.
She might contest it, but I think rae's a bit nervous about tomorrow.
She's been to the flea market before, but last time there was a big party she wasn't feeling well so we did not attend. This is a debut of sorts for her.
Rae's been working all week on hand-making a set of chainmail slave bracelets and a chainmail collar and leash. She's done with all of them now, really, the last thing she's going to do is set them off with little dangling bits of hematite.
Tomorrow, she will be gorgeous.
About once a week, she and I have what she calls "dress-up night". She comes to me and begs to know what look would please me that night....and I tell her slutty, or naughty, or innocent, or exotic, and she goes and creates that look for me and serves me.
Tomorrow I've commanded her to make herself up like she did when she first knelt to me and offered herself to me.
How can I describe her in her elegant sensual look?
Think Inara from the television series Firefly, and Phaedre from the Kushiel's Dart books.
No, I'm not exaggerating. I think I'll take pictures...just because no one will believe it otherwise.
She really has nothing to be nervous about.
In the afternoon, our goals are to buy me a new single-tail, or signal whip. For the uninitiated, a signal whip is 3-4 feet long, about half the length of a bull whip, and us usually used in cracking competition, thus the term signal whip.
Generally, the more plaits of leather used to braid the whip, the higher the quality. They usually run in 8, 12, 16, or 20 plait whips. I'm hunting for a good 16-plait, 4-foot signal whip.
Rae has a goal too. There's a guy who attends these things whom everyone just calls "The Shoe Guy" who sells every kind of woman's shoe imaginable. She's already contacted him and he's going to set aside a pair of soft mat black leather boots that will go up to about rae's mid-thigh, about where a woman's stocking tops would be, and lace up the front.
We have some breathing room on money, so I'll probably pick up a good paddle too.
I figure a lot of those reading this have never been to a bdsm event or have any clue what one is like, so Sunday or Monday, when I have the time, I'll recap the event so you have an idea what exactly goes on. What you see on television, usually, is grossly distorted. For one thing, television and movies almost never portray the man as dominant. It's seen as "okay" if it's some woman in a corset whipping some guy, but it's "wrong" if it's some guy breaking out the flogger on a girl...no matter how much she's enjoying or begging for it, society in general can't wrap it's brain around it.
In truth, most of the couples at play parties are male-dominant and female-submissive. And in the DC area, probably in large part due to the fact that it's "chocolate city", there's a very large percentage of black male dominants and white female submissives.
That's a visual I really doubt america ever really wants to see. No matter how non-racist the country claims to be, the US of A isn't ready to see a black man with a white woman over his knee, panties around her ankles and red-bottomed.

A thought: When it's socially acceptable for the entertainment media to show women beating men, belittling men, humiliating men, but not the other way around...is that really gender equality?

the only movie I've seen that even comes close to actually showing a dominant/submissive relationship was The Secretary, with James Spader. However, both characters in that have some issues they are working through. But it's hollywood and it's a drama so they have to. Having them both be perfectly stable, like many D/s couples, wouldn't make for good drama. But it's the only movie I've seen that takes the topic seriously and also has a male in the dominant role.
It must be late because I'm rambling. I'll fill you in on what a bdsm party's like after this weekend.

Dark Lord's Dating Tips, volume one

More than one person asked, as soon as I started to blog, "when will you do the dating tips?"
Well, here ya go.

Let's deal with this in a chronological manner. Today we are going to handle the approach and the chat-up.
Perhaps the hardest of all is the "cold approach". When you walk up to a girl who is a perfect stranger in an environment that's not automatically conducive to people hooking up.
First, check yourself. Do you LOOK like somebody she might want to talk to? Do you look like somebody anyone might want to talk to? Are your clothes reasonably clean? Your hair (if any) neat...or at least fashionably unkempt? Did you brush your teeth and wash your ass this morning? If not, maybe now isn't the time to practice your game skills. If so, proceed. The last thing you want is to walk up to her and have her look at you and say "Sorry, I don't have any spare change."
Now, you need an ice-breaker. Something to get her talking.
Be aware of opportunities. Look and see what has her interest. Also, take a good look at what she's wearing and what she's doing. If she's dressed in all black with pale make-up and an intricate celtic cross reading an Anita Blake novel in Star Bucks then your approach is going to be a touch different than if she's dressed in a business suit with a briefcase waiting for the metro.
But one thing that's universal can always be applied: You can get your foot in the door if you make her laugh.
Now, there's a certain kind of laugh you're gunning for. It's not the type where she's laughing AT you! Seems obvious, but I've seen guys try this tactic. They bring attention to something stupid they just did with some self-effacing humor. Rarely does it work. Remember, at it's core, interaction between the sexes is governed on a subconscious level by who you think it would be best to breed with. Nobody wants the clumsy or stupid gene added to their bloodline.
No, what you want is a witty observation on life. Something that gives the feeling that the TWO of you stand apart from the clueless masses of humanity around you.
Everyone wants to feel that they are separate from the rest of the herd. If you can make them feel like you sense that in them, and have that quality yourself, you're halfway there.
Also, remember, at all times, BE CONFIDENT. Not arrogant, but confident. You should approach self-assured. Show no fear! She's not going to bite unless you're extremely successful. Also, if you get a rejection, not only are you in no worse shape than you were before you approached her, but you just gained valuable experience.
Remember that if any guy sees you get shot down, they likely were admiring you for having the guts to approach her in the first place...something they themselves didn't do.
Women can smell a lack of confidence like a shark smells blood in the water. Except that it's anathema to them. Stand proud and approach confidently.
Okay, so you've sauntered up and made your George Carlin-esque observation and gotten a giggle. Now it's time to strike up a conversation.
By strike up a conversation I mean: Get her talking.
Ask a question, related to your place and circumstances, that cannot be answered by a yes or no answer.
If you have her interest you'll know because she'll be talkative...unless she's naturally shy, in which case she'll kind of bumble a bit, but still seem interested.
Look for these signs:
1. She puts away whatever she was doing to focus on you.
2. She leans in closer to communicate.
3. She straightens her hair subconsciously.
4. She smiles a GENUINE smile.
5. She nods a lot with what you are saying.
In the course of this conversation, if there's a lull and you're not sure what to say, very quickly introduce yourself, as if you've forgotten (you save the introduction for this moment). Don't ask her name. She'll tell you or she won't. If she doesn't, you're not there yet. If she does, you're on your way. Watch out for the words "my boyfriend" or "my husband" in the conversation. If that comes up politely disengage without being rude. Never rub another man's rhubarb.

Now, depending on your level of confidence, the situation, and how long you talk and how well it goes, ask for her phone number, and see if she's interested in going out.
You can delay this if you're someplace she regularly attends, like a coffee house, and just ask when she's usually there. Don't be obvious about it, just say something like "Oh, I hadn't seen you around here before. First time?" (unless it isn't, in which case you note that you'd seen her wherever from time to time). Now, again, watch for the response. If she very quickly volunteers detailed information, like her entire work schedule, it's likely that she's volunteering that information for a reason.
I once had a girl I met at a techno coffee house in Detroit not only tell me when she'd likely be there again, but inform me that if she wasn't there (the place was called Ascension U.K.) then I should check with the door man at City Club a few blocks away, and she also mentioned where she usually could be found inside.
I took it as a good sign she wanted to see me again.

Now, you've scored either a way to see her again, or the seven digits. Good job!

Next time I'll tackle how to ask for the first date and how the date should go down.

(of course, us Goreans have an entirely different way of approaching women, but for the guys who need the above tips, if I were to tell you my way of approaching MY kind of girl you're head would probably explode)

Creativity is a two-edged sword

Don't worry...I'll discuss the girl later......



I'm currently going through a bout of creativity. Probably one of the reasons I started this blog. I've got a dozen ideas in my head that I think are cool. Many I have no means of expressing, for the others there's writing. I've got book ideas, RPG ideas both old and new, a friend of mine and I are thinking of teaming up with a local comic book artist and taking a run at the comic book industry (which would be my second attempt), I've got ideas for three different campaigns in three different role-playing games, plus new ideas for the one I'm running, and toying with penning down some of my horror sci-fi screenplay ideas (I'd like to do a respectable rendition of some of HP Lovecraft's works, among others).
That's all well and good except for one problem: These ideas always come to me between the hours of 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.
Creativity and insomnia have always gone hand in hand with me. I'm not really sure why. I suspect it's like that with a lot of people.
By nature, it seems our minds tend to work, and think, differently at night. In the dark, the impossible becomes a little more possible. At night, imagination gains a slight advantage on reason.
Why is that? Could it be that in the day time the sun and the blue sky seals us and our thoughts...our perceptions...inside the atmosphere of the earth? Our minds, perhaps, feel contained, locked away from the rest of a universe filled with infinite possibilities.
But at night the blue curtain peels back and the universe is opened before us. The moon and stars serve to remind us that we are tiny, and that we live in a dimension of infinite possibility.
The world, also, gets quiet. If you live in the city, like I do, traffic dies down after a certain time and once I tuck rae into bed and she drifts off, there is nothing to derail my train of thought.
I can sit here, recline, and unfetter my imagination.
If that's true, though, then I'd have this problem/boon all the time, and I don't.
It comes in bursts and spurts. Sometimes sustained, other times brief.
I can always conjure up a bit of creative writing on demand. You kind of have to in my career. But there are times when I know what I'm writing will be rather special.
This time however, I'm having trouble figuring out where to focus that energy. I really don't need to start anything new.
I've got a completed novel I'm trying to sell, I've got three or four ideas I'm thinking of taking to the Palladium Open House to pitch at Kevin Siembieda and the gang there, two of them are halfway completed already, and I just had a great idea that would change the direction of the book series that I want to, some day, define me as a writer.
I don't talk about this book series much, it's sort of my opus. I put it together piece by piece, and I'm afraid in a way, that I'll jinx it....but what the heck.
I want to do three trilogies, set in the same fantasy world, where the reader will have trouble distinguishing science and magic and where some things which start out as one end up being the other. And yes, I'm being intentionally vague. However, one thing I've always wondered when reading Forgotten Realms books, Dragonlance books, The Lord of the Rings and the like, is this: What happens when a fantasy world "grows up"?
What if the elves and magic never left. They stayed right through the renaissance age, through the industrial revolution of a world and right into it's equivalent of the modern day.
What happens to the dungeons and the dragons after the advent of gunpowder. Would that old temple of elemental evil be a tourist spot, or, thousands of years later, would gun-toting adventurers follow their sword-bearing ancestors into dank forgotten necropolises where the dead still walk?
The first trilogy of this series would be fairly traditional, but at a cusp of technology and philosophy. The second trilogy would be within a renaissance period that's turning rapidly into an industrial revolution. The final trilogy would take place as this fantasy world and it's occupants have moved out of the castles and into the high-rises. Where mages work at designing spells that keep your car running smoothly and rangers are crack paramilitary units as likely to parachute behind enemy lines as they are to slip stealthly through a quiet forest.
I want to be published first before I do that. Published in the novel industry anyway. I've already been published a couple thousand times after 14 years of mostly daily news reporting. But it's not the same.
Anyway, I wonder how long this creative spurt will last, and what the results will be. Sometimes it dies out and, if the project isn't pressing, I'll hang it up til the next one. But with the Open House coming up I want to get some stuff out and done that I've had sitting around.
It's also inspiring that a few people have asked me about them.
I get little PMs and e-mails saying "hey, you still working on Coalition of Magic?" or "Do you have the map to Nightside and some more info?"
Sometimes that's the mental push I need. It makes my subconscious chime in and say "Hey, get off your fat, lazy ass, turn off the computer game, and finish some projects."
It really helps when people do that.
That's enough for tonight. One of the ideas I want to pursue one day is a screenplay adaptation of the poem "Rime of the Ancient Mariner."
If you haven't read it I suggest it strongly.
Oh, and here's something just to screw with your head. That girl at the top of this post that you've been drooling over....it's Soleil Moon Frye.
Punky Brewster.

Do we communicate to speak, or to listen?

I happen to do a lot of posting on boards and such, and as a freelance reporter, it's my job to talk to people and to listen to them, sometimes to get them to say things that they really shouldn't be telling me. One thing that has always bothered me about us as a social species is our penchant to converse not with the goal of listening, but of being heard.
Nowhere is this more prevalent than on internet chat boards and rooms, where there is political, social and other forms of debate. Far too often, people post to be heard, as opposed to actually expose themselves to other views. I am not immune to this. I don't think anyone is.
On one board I post to quite often, we're quite divided into our little (mostly political) camps. Liberal or conservative, republican or democrat. We have some quite rousing debates about what's going on in the world. However, except for a few notable cases, I doubt many of us are actually learning something from the other side. Which is too bad.
Why? Because we're not there to listen, we're there to be heard by the other side. That, I think, is a loss of opportunity.
What ends up happening is that, in lieu of actually reading what someone with an opposing viewpoint has said, the person instead just blanket categorizes that person's argument based on past discussions or what others in that particular "group" are likely to say. Case in point, a few weeks ago on the board I usually post on, there was a thread I started regarding child slavery on cocoa farms in West Africa. Someone responded with a comment regarding all Africans.
Now, my response was that this incident was confined to a few small countries, and that Africa is a continent, not a country, with diverse people. You can no more generalize what Liberians do to what Rwandans do than you can with the French and Hungarians.
However, because we had debated the role of Africans in the slave trade in the past, this person automatically assumed that my post was in some way trying to minimalize the role of africans in that particular slave trade and became a bit indignant when I said that wasn't what I was talking about. You see, this person didn't read what I wrote, he read what he expected me to write. He didn't read the viewpoint I was expounding, he read between lines that weren't there.
I'm not picking on this person specifically, we all do it. I do it. You probably do it too.
The internet has provided humanity with an incredible means of communicating, spreading ideas, learning from one another, and growing as a species. But to fully utilize it, we're all going to have to make a stronger effort at actually listening to what others are saying. After all, if you are not listening to what others are saying, what are the odds that they are listening to you?
So, next time you get ready to respond to that post here's my advice. Take a breath, wash what other conversations you and that person have had in the past from your mind, and look at what they've posted word-for-word, without reading other aspects into it. If you *think* they are trying to lead to some familiar ground, why not simply ask them: "Is this what you are getting at?"
Then, take them at their word until they prove you different.
It might be that your suspicions were correct. It might be that they are not. But there's a chance you might learn something new. And if you make a habit of listening, there's a chance the habit might spread.