Going home

So I'm headed back up to Michigan this weekend for the Palladium Open House. I have a lot of mixed feelings. I'm a little nervous because my books are not done deals yet, and I'm probably going to be a bit on edge until there's an official announcement and some cover art on their website. I'm excited, because I rewrote some things I think the company owner will be pleased with, but I'm trying not to get too worked up about the whole deal until I see some concrete movement.
Getting an RPG or two (or four or more) would be a dream come true, but it's not going to put me anywhere near easy street. I hope to use it as a luanch vehicle for novels and for publishing creds to expand my writing career.
I'm worried about getting too rusty. It's been about three years since I last did serious hard news reporting and I'm thinking of getting back into the game before my edge is totally gone.
The good thing about writing for Palladium is that, published or not, it is keeping the creative juices flowing and honed.
We fly out of here in the morning, and I hate flying. Fortunately I have some xanax that are still good, so I'm going to pop one tomorrow morning before the flight so I'm not a bundle of nerves. The sad part is that I used to be student pilot. You'd think I'd be as cool as a cucumber right? For some reason I'm totally calm in a little lawn-mower engine plane (partially because I could probably pull and emergency landing if something goes wrong), but big flights make me nervous.
It's only like an hour and a half flight though, so I'm staying up late tonight so I'll be tired and sleep through as much of it as possible.
Over the weekend, I've been told that a lot of my friends from Port Huron will be there and I look forward to that.
I'm one of those people that are terrible about keeping in touch and I always feel bad about it, but I get really caught up in the here and now and the people around me. There are a few friends this will probably never apply to, like my friend Hari and Vox, because my friendship with them is on a whole other level. My friend Owen and I used to be like that, but we drifted. Not sure why, but haven't had a good sit-down with Owen in a while.
It's odd, most of my friends have stayed put in Detroit, or Michigan in general, while I've hopped from place to place. It makes it hard to bond with people, hard to make REAL friends. The one major person I did that with in Baltimore is Vox, but he's about the only one unless you count Rae. There are other people down here who I am friends with, but I'm not calling them in the evenings or chatting online with them.
I guess, overall, I tend to not really be that sociable. A quiet night at home is rarely a bad idea to me, and when I do gather with friends, I don't like masses and masses of them coming at me at once.
This weekened will be an exception. A lot of people at this Open House know me from the Palladium Books forums, and a lot of them have read my work online and written me e-mails of encouragement. So, like it or not, I'll be at the center of a lot of handshaking and conversation.
Then, of course, their's family. I can't wait to see them. It's so rare that I get the opportunity.
As with friends, I'm not the kind of guy that gets on the phone and calls his mother or family every other week. Just doesn't pop into my head to do so. Not that I don't love them or want to know what's going on, it's just not my nature to keep all sorts of contact with people.
I actually hope it is something I can change about myself through the years. I hate getting that call after two years of no contact that starts with "Hey, jerk...remember your friend _____! Can't ya pick up the phone some time?"
Of course, they haven't called me in all that time either...but for some reason I never get insulted.

Once I get back from the Open House I'll post a postOH report here and probably on the boards as well.
Sorry about the rambling stream of consciousness.