Dark Lord's Dating Tips, volume one

More than one person asked, as soon as I started to blog, "when will you do the dating tips?"
Well, here ya go.

Let's deal with this in a chronological manner. Today we are going to handle the approach and the chat-up.
Perhaps the hardest of all is the "cold approach". When you walk up to a girl who is a perfect stranger in an environment that's not automatically conducive to people hooking up.
First, check yourself. Do you LOOK like somebody she might want to talk to? Do you look like somebody anyone might want to talk to? Are your clothes reasonably clean? Your hair (if any) neat...or at least fashionably unkempt? Did you brush your teeth and wash your ass this morning? If not, maybe now isn't the time to practice your game skills. If so, proceed. The last thing you want is to walk up to her and have her look at you and say "Sorry, I don't have any spare change."
Now, you need an ice-breaker. Something to get her talking.
Be aware of opportunities. Look and see what has her interest. Also, take a good look at what she's wearing and what she's doing. If she's dressed in all black with pale make-up and an intricate celtic cross reading an Anita Blake novel in Star Bucks then your approach is going to be a touch different than if she's dressed in a business suit with a briefcase waiting for the metro.
But one thing that's universal can always be applied: You can get your foot in the door if you make her laugh.
Now, there's a certain kind of laugh you're gunning for. It's not the type where she's laughing AT you! Seems obvious, but I've seen guys try this tactic. They bring attention to something stupid they just did with some self-effacing humor. Rarely does it work. Remember, at it's core, interaction between the sexes is governed on a subconscious level by who you think it would be best to breed with. Nobody wants the clumsy or stupid gene added to their bloodline.
No, what you want is a witty observation on life. Something that gives the feeling that the TWO of you stand apart from the clueless masses of humanity around you.
Everyone wants to feel that they are separate from the rest of the herd. If you can make them feel like you sense that in them, and have that quality yourself, you're halfway there.
Also, remember, at all times, BE CONFIDENT. Not arrogant, but confident. You should approach self-assured. Show no fear! She's not going to bite unless you're extremely successful. Also, if you get a rejection, not only are you in no worse shape than you were before you approached her, but you just gained valuable experience.
Remember that if any guy sees you get shot down, they likely were admiring you for having the guts to approach her in the first place...something they themselves didn't do.
Women can smell a lack of confidence like a shark smells blood in the water. Except that it's anathema to them. Stand proud and approach confidently.
Okay, so you've sauntered up and made your George Carlin-esque observation and gotten a giggle. Now it's time to strike up a conversation.
By strike up a conversation I mean: Get her talking.
Ask a question, related to your place and circumstances, that cannot be answered by a yes or no answer.
If you have her interest you'll know because she'll be talkative...unless she's naturally shy, in which case she'll kind of bumble a bit, but still seem interested.
Look for these signs:
1. She puts away whatever she was doing to focus on you.
2. She leans in closer to communicate.
3. She straightens her hair subconsciously.
4. She smiles a GENUINE smile.
5. She nods a lot with what you are saying.
In the course of this conversation, if there's a lull and you're not sure what to say, very quickly introduce yourself, as if you've forgotten (you save the introduction for this moment). Don't ask her name. She'll tell you or she won't. If she doesn't, you're not there yet. If she does, you're on your way. Watch out for the words "my boyfriend" or "my husband" in the conversation. If that comes up politely disengage without being rude. Never rub another man's rhubarb.

Now, depending on your level of confidence, the situation, and how long you talk and how well it goes, ask for her phone number, and see if she's interested in going out.
You can delay this if you're someplace she regularly attends, like a coffee house, and just ask when she's usually there. Don't be obvious about it, just say something like "Oh, I hadn't seen you around here before. First time?" (unless it isn't, in which case you note that you'd seen her wherever from time to time). Now, again, watch for the response. If she very quickly volunteers detailed information, like her entire work schedule, it's likely that she's volunteering that information for a reason.
I once had a girl I met at a techno coffee house in Detroit not only tell me when she'd likely be there again, but inform me that if she wasn't there (the place was called Ascension U.K.) then I should check with the door man at City Club a few blocks away, and she also mentioned where she usually could be found inside.
I took it as a good sign she wanted to see me again.

Now, you've scored either a way to see her again, or the seven digits. Good job!

Next time I'll tackle how to ask for the first date and how the date should go down.

(of course, us Goreans have an entirely different way of approaching women, but for the guys who need the above tips, if I were to tell you my way of approaching MY kind of girl you're head would probably explode)