I'm usually NOT this partisan
..but come on Republicans. The lame-arse excuses being pumped out over the Sen. Larry Craig scandal is really corny.
Let’s start the next exciting round of REPUBLICAN EXCUSE ROUND-UP!
1. “We get rid of our sickos.” — BZZZTT!!! Oh! I’m sorry, that’s the wrong answer! Mark Foley was known to be chasing little boys for YEARS and you only moved to get rid of him when he got caught! Everyone knows about Ted “Bridge to Nowhere” Stevens and he’s still hanging on. Where was “getting rid of the sickos” when it came out Vitter was putting on diapers and going to see “Ho’s”? Virtually everyone involved in Iran-contra was able to be employed under following Republican administrations. And have you booted Bob “Black people scare me enough to make me suck dick” Allen yet? Huh? Speak up!
2. Dems do it too! — BZZZZTT!! I’m sorry, that answer was disqualified when I was four years old! What’s more, what exactly did they do? Did they claim to be paragons of morality and then sneak off to bathrooms to smoke pole while trying to sign discrimination against others with their own urges into the constitution? Has it ever occurred to you that the reason Dems get re-elected is that they present themselves as human beings? Clinton lied, and he apologized and we forgave him. You know…like good CHRISTIANS! You’ve heard of them, right? If Craig came out and said “look, I have this problem and I’ve been trying to hide it and it’s not working and I’m sorry.” I wouldn’t have a problem with the guy. He plead guilty and got his sentence. Instead, we’ll have to deal with him going to gay rehab and whatnot…
3. Aha! You Dems are homophobes too! Look how you hate on Craig! — BZZZT!! Oooh, I’m sorry. But the correct answer was that Democrats don’t have a problem with him being gay, they have a problem with him being a hypocrit. Much like you’re being when you claim you get rid of your sickos. It’s the hipocrasy, stupid.We’ve got Bob “on my knees” Allen pushing laws against lewd public behavior, Ted “anti-gay evangelical leader” Haggard who couldn’t decide whether to fill his mouth with gay prostitute pole or meth, Mark “council on missing and EXPLOITED children” Foley chasing little boys, and now Capt. Conservative Craig trying for an under the stall reacharound. It’s called “pattern recognition.”
4. But..but…what’s the crime in acting wierd in a stall? You all are prejudging him! — BZZT!!! He already PLEAD GUILTY! So he’s either a sick perv (children use those bathrooms) or he perjured himself. And he’s an idiot to boot for not getting a lawyer and thinking he’d never be found out. And you never mention the flash of the Senate business card when you try this lame defense. Read the report, he was charged with misconduct, but he admitted guilt to lewd behavior. The words are right there.
I’m sorry, but you lose. But America has a consolation prize for you, I suspect…one that will be delivered in early November of 2008!
(if you see this labeled I.J. elsewhere it's because I dropped it in a couple blog comment sections, it wasn't stolen)
Let’s start the next exciting round of REPUBLICAN EXCUSE ROUND-UP!
1. “We get rid of our sickos.” — BZZZTT!!! Oh! I’m sorry, that’s the wrong answer! Mark Foley was known to be chasing little boys for YEARS and you only moved to get rid of him when he got caught! Everyone knows about Ted “Bridge to Nowhere” Stevens and he’s still hanging on. Where was “getting rid of the sickos” when it came out Vitter was putting on diapers and going to see “Ho’s”? Virtually everyone involved in Iran-contra was able to be employed under following Republican administrations. And have you booted Bob “Black people scare me enough to make me suck dick” Allen yet? Huh? Speak up!
2. Dems do it too! — BZZZZTT!! I’m sorry, that answer was disqualified when I was four years old! What’s more, what exactly did they do? Did they claim to be paragons of morality and then sneak off to bathrooms to smoke pole while trying to sign discrimination against others with their own urges into the constitution? Has it ever occurred to you that the reason Dems get re-elected is that they present themselves as human beings? Clinton lied, and he apologized and we forgave him. You know…like good CHRISTIANS! You’ve heard of them, right? If Craig came out and said “look, I have this problem and I’ve been trying to hide it and it’s not working and I’m sorry.” I wouldn’t have a problem with the guy. He plead guilty and got his sentence. Instead, we’ll have to deal with him going to gay rehab and whatnot…
3. Aha! You Dems are homophobes too! Look how you hate on Craig! — BZZZT!! Oooh, I’m sorry. But the correct answer was that Democrats don’t have a problem with him being gay, they have a problem with him being a hypocrit. Much like you’re being when you claim you get rid of your sickos. It’s the hipocrasy, stupid.We’ve got Bob “on my knees” Allen pushing laws against lewd public behavior, Ted “anti-gay evangelical leader” Haggard who couldn’t decide whether to fill his mouth with gay prostitute pole or meth, Mark “council on missing and EXPLOITED children” Foley chasing little boys, and now Capt. Conservative Craig trying for an under the stall reacharound. It’s called “pattern recognition.”
4. But..but…what’s the crime in acting wierd in a stall? You all are prejudging him! — BZZT!!! He already PLEAD GUILTY! So he’s either a sick perv (children use those bathrooms) or he perjured himself. And he’s an idiot to boot for not getting a lawyer and thinking he’d never be found out. And you never mention the flash of the Senate business card when you try this lame defense. Read the report, he was charged with misconduct, but he admitted guilt to lewd behavior. The words are right there.
I’m sorry, but you lose. But America has a consolation prize for you, I suspect…one that will be delivered in early November of 2008!
(if you see this labeled I.J. elsewhere it's because I dropped it in a couple blog comment sections, it wasn't stolen)
posted by Dark Lord at 1:39 PM
2 Comments:
Nasty....just the way I love it DL :)
So, can I say the Dems exhibit hyprocracy too, just not this particular brand? Something about it being ok for a Democrat to be gay, unlike the Republicans with their conservative, Christian base. Still, who needs a witch hunt when the supposed victim gets himself arrested for attempting bathroom sex and pleads guilty.
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