A typical night out
Ugh, can't believe I'm awake writing this thing. We didn't get to bed until after 3 a.m. last night...and didn't get to sleep until some time later, heh.
It was a long, good day.
Unfortunately, it started out with us having to work from 7 a.m. until 11 a.m. But it was easy and it was extra money and overtime.
After we got home and took care of things around the house (and rae snuck in a quick nap) we headed down to the leather fetish flea market.
It's all the way down in D.C., takes about an hour to get there from Baltimore. We had decided to shop, come back home, get dressed up and then go to the party later that evening.
We didn't really dress up to shop too much. Rae went for the frisky look, with a little white, gauzy asian-styled shirt and black flared mini-skirt and pothole fishnet stockings. You know the ones? Not normal fishnets but the ones that are like made of thin yarn and have the huge holes? Good lord I love a woman's legs in those things.
Once we navigated the terrors of D.C. traffic we lucked up on a good parking space outside of the Crucible, the local dungeon. It's a nice, big place, well-kept. They keep expanding on it, which is very welcome. This time the newest addition was a huge upstairs level. There were about 300 people or so there I think when we got there. And people were regularly going in and out. We got there about 3 p.m.
Now, over the last couple weeks, rae has been working with chainmail. She made herself chainmail bracelets, a chainmail collar hung with bits of hematite and a chainmail lead (another word for leash...one end attaches to her collar and the other end stays in my hand). She got a lot of comments on them, with people asking her where she got the beautiful leash. She's thinking now about making some to sell.
So, we get in and pay for both the flea market and the play party that night.
Rae makes a beeline for The Shoe Guy (that's actually what he calls himself).
He has a multitude of women's shoes, each one with a girl's name. She was after some thigh-high boots, which, as you can see from the picture, she got. They're really gorgeous on her legs....since she has killer legs. And she says they're pretty comfortable, even with the heel. Although the leather is still stiff around the knee and will be until she's worn them in a bit.
After that it was like we lost our minds. I got a new 4', 16-plait single-tail by a well-known maker. Feels good in my hands. But rae hasn't experienced a single-tail yet and it's rather intense, so I didn't use it on her that night.
We also got personally embroidered shirts. She got a pink tank top with "Master ______'s toy" in bold black letters (______ being my first name, of course). And I got a black one with just "Master _____" and a silhouette of a chained slave over the left breast.
I also caved in to some serious begging and got her another pair of shoes, these look exactly like the ruby slippers from the Wizard of Oz, except that they're black and have a bit more heel.
I also got some soft, treated, white rope, as she recently bought me a book on rope bondage and is eager for me to start practicing on her. I've always admired the japanese rope bondage (a.k.a. nawa shabiri) experts, but I don't have the patience to take 20 minutes to tie a girl up prettily, get turned on, and then take another 20 minutes to set her free so I can do something about it.
But, a friend there told me a local rope bondage expert was giving seminars soon on how to tie a girl up in intricate rope bondage in a way where you can have access to any part of her you want. I like that idea.
We'll see if I take to it or not, I never was good with knots.
Finally, we got this little asian-styled dress for her, blue with black trim. It's a mini-sasong...the chinese girl's dress that Kristen Dunst wears at the parade in Spiderman is a good example. Except this one only falls to mid-thigh...nice for showing off those new boots.
That's all I can REMEMBER us buying. We left with so many bags that other people were commenting on them.
I got to introduce her to several friends, and as this had been the first time I seriously was out to hobnob since my split with my last slave I rather enjoyed it.
One thing about the flea markets that's probably unusual to vanilla lifestyle people (that's what we call non-alternative lifestyle folks...normals) is that when a woman at a leather fetish flea market wants to try on that little silver mini-corset and matching miniature shorts, she usually strips down right there in the middle of the crowd and tries it on. I'm sure the dealers do this on purpose. A friend of mine, sherry, who is quite a looker and has one of those barbie doll bodies, tried on the exact outfit above in the middle of the aisle. This thing is gripping her ass like a sailor who just got into port and has her tits presented like a buffet and she has the nerve to ask her master, Steve, if he likes the outfit. Before he could answer I grabbed Steve's wrist, felt for a pulse and told her "Yes." Because if the man didn't, I'd have declared him officially dead.
So, 6 p.m. rolled around and the flea market closed up. It was back to Baltimore where rae got dressed in the outfit in the picture. She also had on, which you can't really see here, a silver belt covered with clamshell bells, so that when she walked they chimed like a belly dancer. She looked quite exotic.
We grabbed some dinner, packed the playbag and drove back down. We got back to the Crucible by about 10 p.m. just as things were getting into full swing.
Now, many of you have no idea how things play out at a bdsm play party, so I'll run it down for you.
The Crucible, is set up into several large areas. The main floor has most of the bdsm furinture on it that people use. Spanking benches (kind of like a padded saw horse that the girl straddles, leaving her rear very exposed...usually the slave is cuffed to it), St. Andrew's Crosses (They look like a big "X", with rings for cuffs and other goodies at various places), suspension rigs and massage tables and cages.
We walk in and put our coats up and there's a place for your play bag to go until you want to play and find an open piece of furniture (which is rather difficult given the crowd). First thing we see when we come in is that some Mistress has put her male slave in a schoolgirl outfit in a cage that only allows you to stand, hands cuffed with a ballgag. Different strokes and all that...
Off to the side there's a girl who probably weighs about 100 lbs. in a mini-skirt and 6'inch heels on her knees crawling after her Master. I didn't mention a top because there wasn't one.
All the equipment is in use so we wander around so rae can see various things. One thing that catches her eye is a vacuum bag. Basically it's two layers of latex on a square frame attached to a vacuum pump. The sub or slave gets into it and then all the air is sucked out. It's allegedly the ultimate in full-body bondage, as basically every inch of your body is bound by the latex. Personally, I think it makes you look like you've been frozen in carbonite.
There are various girls and guys being whipped, flogged, tickled (tickle torture is devious...imagine being bound and unable to get away from someone who knows all your tickle spots), bound, etc.
The owner of the Crucible has had a novel idea and has caged off an area for single-tail use. That's good, because novices who are curious sometimes wander too close to a Master whipping his slave. A couple years ago I had a guy walk right in front of me as I was using mine. Everyone says I should have just let him have it one good time.
We chat with people here and there. The girl who plays Arcana in my HU2 game is there and quite a few people I haven't seen in a while. The organizer of the local multicultural munch (a get together for interracial BDSM couples in the area...there are that many) and one of the organizers for BlackBeat, an african-american themed bdsm annual event, are there and I find out that they are going to have some joint munches in the near future, so I'm thinking of taking rae to a few so she can get to meet more people in the lifestyle.
There's also a big deal coming up called Camp Crucible, which is an extended memorial day weekend camp, off in the hills, for BDSM'ers. No real rules, no laws to worry about, just 1,000 S&M fetishists at a well-equipped camp in the woods going nucking futs. The stories from Camp Crucible are often legendary.
But it's rather expensive, and coming up right behind a planned trip to Michigan, it might have to wait until next year for us.
We eventually luck up and find a spanking bench coming up free. I loop rae's leash around the arm of it while I go get the play bag. For her it seems like a long, intense session with the floggers, some hand spanking, a pinwheel and some edge play with a matching pair of chinese knives. I'm always telling her that I'm working her up and that I'm going light, which she can hardly believe.
However, after I let her up after about 45 minutes and she's talking about the intensity of the session, my friend James comes up and goes "whoa, you done already?" and I tell him that rae's new and he comments that he expected me to be there for another half hour...and rae's eyes bug out a bit as she feels like she was taken quite toward her endurance limit.
I wrap her up in a flannel aftercare blanket (subs and slaves tend to get very cold after a session, they also mentally are a bit "somewhere else" for a few, so most conscientious Masters and Mistresses wrap them up in an aftercare blanket and cuddle them for a while til they come back down to earth). I do so with rae in the upstairs area, which has been converted to a large aftercare zone with warm, low lighting, comfortable couches and chairs and tables. We find a big, overstuffed chair and she curls up in my lap for a while.
Afterwards, when she's feeling more herself again, we run into a Master, Mistress and slave that I haven't seen in a long time. The slave, whom everyone just calls "pet", had a bad Master who was a deadbeat and she had to get rid of him. He cost her her house. Then he stalked her for a while. But the BDSM community is pretty tight, so there was a good safety net for her and she's about back on her feet.
She's owned by the couple now and has had a collar made so that when it was finished she was wearing it...meaning that it will never come off unless you break out the metal cutters.
Her Master, Mistress, and I used to triple team her with an electrical device called a violet wand. Basically it's a hand-held miniature generator with a variety of glass vacuum tubes in various shapes. They are filled with gas that lights up violet when current is running through it and when you bring it close to the skin it gives an electrical zap...like the sensation you get when you walk across the carpet and touch the doorknob. Only difference is that the intensity varies and the zap is a steady constant rain of zaps, as opposed to one quick jolt.
Also, you can ground yourself or the slave and become electrified yourself. This means anyone you touch will get a steady zap. It also means any metal objects you pick up can be used to zap someone. We decide to toss rae and pet onto the couch together naked, they break out the violet wand set, and pretty soon we've got both girls squirming all over each other. Rae's never felt a violet wand before, as my last slave made off with my last set. It takes all of the first two minutes before she wants me to invest in another one...soon!
At one point the other Master is using a small rounded metal medical instrument, running the tip across pet's back, I've got a small dagger giving shocks across rae's legs and the Mistress has an ingenious glove similar to Freddy Kruger's (but far more elegant and less scary) that she's dragging across both girl's breasts. The noises those two girls made would have made most porn stars proud.
Then the two slaves discover that sucking on each other's nipples takes up an all new dimension when you're electrically charged, and the three of us sit back and watch the show for a bit.
All three of us then attack rae and it's not long before she goes off like a bottle rocket...then the three of us focus on pet and in five minutes she's off the couch and on the floor recuperating.
Finally, they show rae and I something new....fire play. Basically you take flash cotton, which magicians use to make flames suddenly leap from their hands, and you twist it into small fuses. Then you lay an intricate pattern on the girl's body. The thing about flash cotton is that it burns very intense, but it all goes up the instant you touch it to flame. So we decorate pet's body with a big flash cotton design, surrounding both nipples, running down her belly with swirls and loops. Then FWOOSH! the whole thing burns off in less than a second...too fast to burn the skin, but giving the sub the quick sensation of actually being on fire.
I wouldnt' think that's a plus in it's favor, but pet certainly likes it...and I know rae loves to have hot wax dripped on her....so I get the location of the magic shop they buy it from for future use.
It's getting close to closing at this point and we notice a pretty little slave asleep by herself in a chair in the corner. I go over and quietly nudge her and ask her where her owner is and if she's aware it's almost time to go.
She sleepily tells me that her Mistress is a "switch" and that she's tied up (literally)at the moment.
I nod and she thanks me for waking her and for caring.
Now, this has run long, but I'm going to take a moment to rant about "switches". I don't have anything against them, but if you are going to have a slave in your care then you really need to be consistently dominant. There's no way in hell I'd leave rae alone, asleep in a chair on another floor while I went to get "tied up" by somebody else. First of all, slaves need consistency from their owners. You are their rock of Gibralter, emotionally. They are really putting themselves out there by submitting to someone. A steady hand is needed to own. If you are giving up control of yourself to someone, how can you truly have control over them?
Second, what if something happens while the Mistress is tied up? Intricate suspension bondage can be risky. And it takes a long time to get into and out of.
And here's her slave, sleep, alone, on the other side of a dungeon the size of a large warehouse. I mentioned the fact that there should be a rule that if you abandon your slave for an hour at an event like this the first person who finds her should get to keep her. Rae didn't look thrilled at the idea....heh.
She got dressed again, we exchanged e-mails with pet and her owners and finally got ready to go.
It was a long ride home, as I was wore out. But rae was a good girl and stayed awake and we talked about the event and kept me company. We thought about hitting Denny's but with rae looking like Inara on a leash and it being 3 a.m. we decided against it.
So, I'd say that's fairly typical of a saturday night at a BDSM event. rae's interested now in becoming members at the Crucible and attending regularly, so needless to say she enjoyed herself. I know I did.
11 Comments:
Not a problem. . .
Ok, first - here's the main appeal, which was also kinda scary until I got used to it - there is nothing in this world that is more freeing than completely giving yourself to someone else. Seriously. I don't keep secrets, I don't really keep private thoughts, I don't hide fears or worries or anything else. It is 'communication' on an heretofor unknown level. And he takes care of me. He considers my wellbeing his responsibility. There's a feeling of safety and comfort that can't be found in another type of relationship. Because of the depth of possession and interaction, you know each other better than most couples, on a much deeper level.
Personally, I find the general Gorean philosophy to be too utopian - like communism, it's perfect in practice, but that's only when everyone involved is perfect, too. I think that it is hard to find a man who you can comfortably give so much control to. For instance, most people in the lifestyle have contracts. Not that they take them to the notary public, but still. A master and slave (dom/me and sub, whatever, I will default to my position, but all are in there) will most often draw up a formal document, stating what the dos and don'ts are, and what will be considered grounds for dissolving the relationship. We, as Goreans, don't have those. We don't have safe-words. We don't play roles when we go out, or at home. It is something I had to think a lot about, and I think that the only reason I was able to comfortably give up that much autonomy was because of who DL is, his personality and how he acts. Specifically, the fact that a) he doesn't do things arbitrarily - which a lot of Doms are prone to, just to revel in the power, I guess, and b) he still respects me as an intelligent person whose views and opinions are valid.
To me it is very similar to the classic '50s family ideal; the mom takes care of the house and family, the father has the final word in everything, but will often compromise or give way to what the mom wants, because she feels more strongly, or just to make her happy. And to me, this is just about right.
I would like to mention, though, that as much as this was very carefully thought over and entered into with wide eyes, it's still hard. I often struggle with being obedient, because sometimes I want to say "Go downstairs and get your own drink, dammit, I'm doing something." or "For the love of God, clean something instead of sitting on the computer while I'm cleaning the house." But I can't. But that's good because I can still communicate it to him, but I can't fly off the handle. I can't snap at him, which is what I think leads to most fights. I have to stop and think about how to say something to him. Like everything else in life, it works both ways.
Ok, so that was a ramble, but I think I answered the question (feel free to ask more, I like it)
~rae
Rae, I'm not sure I'd apply such a universal brush of Gor being better than anything else. Listen to your master, different strokes for different folks. And I'm not going to touch the guy in a schoolgirl outfit except to say that's definately not my bag. I'm glad you're keeping our dear Darky happpy.I'm pretty sure I'm not done rambling, but my month long sinus headache says I am.
"I'm not sure I'd apply such a universal brush of Gor being better than anything else"
I don't think she did. In fact I think what she was trying to say was that it's harder to do right than general bdsm relationships because it places heavy expectations on people, particularly men, to do the right and honorable thing. But, I'll ask her when she wakes up to be certain I'm reading it right.
Thank you rae, that was very helpful. If I have any more questions I'll be sure to ask. :)
Maybe I just misread, though I am glad it works so well for you two. Juli and I agreed though, bring a whip around and we better be incapacitated or you'll leave with that whip stuck somewhere uncomfortable. Ropes and tickling though...
sorry if I worded it oddly, but I definitely meant that the Gorean lifestyle is (in my opinion, anyway) harder than other forms of bdsm. You really get no leeway, no timeouts, and both parties have to put themselves completely into it. Why am I doing this again? (joking, joking)
~rae
You're doing this because you love the big guy? Least you better to take beatings like that. d-= BTW, those are some spiffy boots.
Oh yeah, on the stuff like checking yourself before yelling at your partner, that works for us vanilla folks too. It's called getting along. If I yelled "Fuck you, you stupid cunt!" at Juli every time she asked for something, I'd be back at my parents house and we'd be arguing custody of the dogs. All relationships take work, yours just takes a different style of work. Not trying to agrue, just giving you a different view. That and processing things much slower today...
I definitely understand the vanilla thing - that's always been my experience before DL, actually. To me, though, it's more than the 'getting along' factor - it's more like how you would have to put things to someone in authority (which is actually what it is), as opposed to an equal. For me, at least, it definitely takes extra self-control. And some deep breathing exercises.
Understandable. I just can't put things on an unequal footing. By the way, the vanilla world has some crazy components to it as well. Juli did dog agility trials before, and I've heard some funky stuff about dog people, horse riders can get pretty screwey too. I should know, my mom's one, as is Juli. (-=
Dl & Rae, thanks for the insight into your lifestyle. As Kalinda said, being able to look at things from an insider viewpoint is always better than relying on "what you hear" from other sources.
Rae - I know what you mean with not being able to keep private thoughts. While I have a very different relationship style, my husband doesn't really let me get away with keeping thoughts to myself. I don't have a poker face, so he can read me pretty easily, which means he will harass me until I spill it. He is more stubborn than I am and more tenacious, so in the beginning I would end up telling him whatever he wanted to know so he'd leave me alone! :) I have often joked that he and I trained each other to deal with each other. I kind of see your relationship with DL as a much more intense version of that (different, but understandably different, not "weird" different).
Thanks to both of you for stating things so honestly and clearly. It really has changed my perceptions - what I thought I knew wasn't quite accurate.
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